Postpartum Plan
do you have one?
The arrival of a baby can be a whirlwind of anticipation and excitement. Often times expectant parents dedicate time and energy into their pregnancy, setting up a nursery, and planning for labor and delivery. These are all good things, but we can become so focused in our ever changing bodies, cute newborn clothes, and what birth will look like, that we fail to give our postpartum needs much thought.
Many parents find they are underprepared for the challenges that lack of sleep, recovery from the birth experience and having an additional family member to care for can have on their mental health. The adjustment to parenthood is big both physically and emotionally. Though there may be societal expectations that the adjustment into parenthood lasts just a few weeks, many experience the intensity of this shift throughout the first year.
Setting aside time to think about life postpartum is a good idea. It may help set realistic expectation for your family, spark conversations on how you wish to navigate certain newborn care elements (where's the baby sleeping?!), how to care best for yourself, and hopefully leave you feeling you have a network set up to support you in advance of the arrival of your newest family member. Bringing your ideas into discussion with your partner, family, or friends can be an enjoyable part of your preparation for life with a newborn.
rest
You may have heard, ‘just sleep when the baby sleeps,’ but this is not so easy to do (and I’m not sure why so many people say it)! But you will need to plan to get rest in the early days, weeks, and months post birth. Planning for support during the night, naps and tag-team parenting are all effective tools for planning how to get sleep during those first few weeks. Try scheduling this out, and come up with several strategies to help you meet your need for sleep. Even if you are breast/chest feeding, it can be beneficial to have others a part of the feeding routine to help promote rest for you.
Support Sources: partner, family members, postpartum doulas/night nurses, neighbors/friends.
nourishment
Having the time, energy or your hands free to shop, meal prep, and cook is tricky. There are many ways to plan ahead that can lower this daily stressor and ensure you’re well nourished.
Freezer Meals: Cook before the baby arrives in big batches. Portion out meals that can be frozen and easily popped in the oven.
Set Up A Meal Train: Your friends, family, and neighbors will likely be more than happy to deliver a meal to you. Leaving simple instructions like, "Drop off on porch between 5-6pm," will ensure you don't have to entertain company! Requesting 2-3 drop-offs per week for the several weeks or even months provides support with meals over a longer stretch of time.
1-handed foods: Having your hands free to eat a meal with a newborn is challenging. Having a basket of 1-handed foods nearby can help you stay nourished and full without the stress or preparing a meal. Granola bars, nuts, fruit, sliced cheese and crackers, etc.
If you are giving birth, breastfeeding/chest-feeding, or the primary care provider AND also the person who typically cooks (or cleans, plans/preps/organizes, etc.) for the family - it’s time for someone else to take this over.
Support Sources: friends, partner, family, grocery delivery, snack basket
find your community
This is so important! Finding a group of parents that can help to normalize and empathize with the challenges and triumphs of parenting is essential. It takes effort, but having a support network helps with the feeling of isolation so often experienced early on. Building friendships/acquaintances into this time helps get more adult conversation into your daily routine, and a chance for you to share how life with a new little one is truly going for you.
Support Sources: childbirth education classes, prenatal yoga, postnatal or parent/baby classes, new parent support groups, online parent groups, local meet-ups.
breastfeeding/chest feeding
If your plan is to breast/cheat feed, having a supportive community to provide education, guidance, and moral support is key. Though breast/chest feeding is natural, it takes time for the two of you to learn the ropes, and can come with challenges. Connect with postpartum doulas, your local La Leche League, and other breastfeeding and chest-feeding parents before the baby arrives. Ask questions! Meet with a local IBCLC while pregnant, or know who you would call should the need for additional support arise early on. Identify where you can receive evidence based information, and the emotional support you'll need to help establish this relationship. If you need an IBCLC referral, please reach out to me!
relationships
Discussing ahead of time ways to nourish your relationship can come in handy when you have a lot less "me" and "us" time with a new baby. Talk to one another about a few simple ways you can give and receive love and support to each other during this time. Plan for ways you may each be able to have a little time for just yourself and your own interests. Keep these things simple so it’s something you can do.
Exercise: Ways I feel loved and supported by you include:
Example: When you hold my hand, when you make me a coffee, when you walk the dog without me asking you to, etc.
siblings
Keeping connected with your older child/ren through the transition of welcoming home a new baby is a naturally strong desire. Parents can grieve the change about to take place, and often worry about their older children through this transition. As as a family, discuss and plan for ways to get one-on-one time with your older child/ren where possible, and how to include them in this transition.
Support Sources: postpartum doula, parent, family, friends, neighbor, caretaker/babysitter
You can’t plan for all your postpartum needs, but you can begin conversations with your partner, family, and community about what may be most helpful during this time.
If you’d like more support or to discuss therapy services, please contact me HERE.